Happy ever afters — an ending that we all aspire to have. This romantic concept is what people have in mind when entering marriages, from the proposal to the wedding vows. However, there are times when a happy ending is but a mere dream, something that cannot be achieved with the partner one has chosen. Because of this, divorce can happen.
People are aware of how the breakup works in the first half. You should work with divorce lawyers in Nassau County or other locations and go through the strenuous proceedings, which is to be expected regardless of whether the divorce was wanted.
What happens after, however, is much more difficult for most. Most people know that the process of moving on from the person believed to be the right partner is both painful and tiring. It’s a slow but not impossible process, especially when we take note of the following steps below.
Grieve Your Loss
We’ve lost something special the moment that divorce has been brought to the table. It doesn’t matter if we were the ones to do so in the first place. It should not be denied, especially since ignoring our feelings regarding the matter does us no good.
Enter the first step to moving on: constructive grieving. By allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and acknowledging any lingering pain from the breakup, we allow ourselves to mourn the union. Throughout this process, we’ll remember the good things that we used to have, where the marriage went wrong, and how we can correct any wrongs we have committed in the past.
The last part is especially important in our goals for self-compassion and self-improvement.
Reach Out for Support
The process of healing cannot be done alone, no matter what our minds may tell us. Another thing to consider is that moving on can be done with more ease when we have people who love and support us by our sides. Hence, the need to approach our friends and family during these dark times.
If it isn’t enough, we can also search for counselors and support groups for divorced individuals. The latter is especially helpful since we’ll be around people who have similar backgrounds to us.
Having someone to talk to about our internal turmoil is one way we can process our thoughts and feelings about the divorce. Moreover, another person’s opinion can help mitigate any self-loathing we may have throughout the entire experience.
Perhaps the most crucial step in moving on: learning how to love ourselves. Such a feat can’t be achieved overnight, but it begins with reinventing ourselves post-divorce. This can be fulfilled through a myriad of ways, one of which is focusing on other roles.
Now that we aren’t husbands or wives, we can spend more time as children to our parents and friends to other people. We can achieve this by making an effort to spend more time with our loved ones. Those of us who are parents now have the chance to exert more energy into becoming the best parents one can be to the kids. We can be more present in their daily lives and check on them to see how they deal with the separation.
Aside from subscribing to other roles, we also have the time to take up new activities and past hobbies as a means of self-care. Have you always wanted to travel, but your former partner was too busy? Seize the opportunity now. Have you wanted to get back into painting? Now is the time to do it.
This new chapter in our lives is about us and the ways we can enjoy our time despite the past. There’s nothing wrong with the occasional self-indulgence.