Divorcing spouses with lots of unresolved conflicts can find it hard to make compromises during the process. While there is no denying that ending a marriage can be hard on everyone involved, meeting each other halfway can make the divorce process quicker and less expensive. Compromising, furthermore, can also establish the foundation for successful co-parenting if you have kids.
What compromising is all about
Divorce mediation experts in Long Island note that the feelings of anger, guilt, and disappointment can sometimes cloud your judgment and make you hesitant to negotiate and cooperate. Your emotions can also make you think that compromising is the same as losing or allowing your soon-to-be ex-spouse to get what they want.
Compromising, however, is not about giving in to what the other party wants. It is more about finding what matters to you so that you can pick the battles to fight and the ones to yield. It is also about realizing that you cannot get everything you want and leave the other party with almost nothing.
Reaching a fair settlement
Deciding to negotiate is a good start, but be sure to keep your emotions in check to reach an agreement and a fair settlement. Divorce mediation is a great option for this. It allows both parties to meet with a mediator (neutral third party) to resolve divorce-related issues on their own.
Mediation is usually less expensive and less stressful than a trial as you and your spouse have the final say over divorce issues. This makes compromising an essential part of the process, especially in working out a solution that is fair and agreeable to both parties. Failure to find the middle ground can make the divorce more expensive and the mediation more likely to fail.
- You are also most likely to have a successful mediation if:
- The decision to divorce is mutual.
- There is no domestic violence involved.
- Both parties can set aside differences for the sake of the kids.
- Both spouses fully understand their financial situation (and willing to provide all financial documentation).
When you think you can’t do it
It is understandable that there are cases where you (or your spouse) may become rigid or inflexible in an attempt to alleviate your anger or pain. This is also the time when you might engage in aggressive behavior and create additional problems that can lead to higher divorce costs, more hostility with your spouse, and higher stress on your part.
Compromising can be a lot more difficult during this time, so it is best to take a step back. Think if your behavior will help you get what you want. Are the things you’re doing will lead to a positive outcome? Will you have regrets years from now? What are the risks or consequences of your actions?
Getting legal help
Choosing mediation can benefit everyone if both parties are willing to communicate and compromise. This is important to have a good divorce where both parties are pleased about the settlement. You can also get the help of a reliable attorney to learn more about the process and help you choose the battles that are worth your time and effort.
Compromising can go a long way in resolving all divorce-related issues. When you and your ex are willing to do this, you can both come out as a winner after the process is over. You can also contact a divorce attorney or a mediation expert to learn more about the mediation process.